Yeah, you heard me. Quit it! Stop following your “passion”! It’s a bad strategy. It’s what got you into this mess in the first place. And besides, that word might not mean what we think it means…
Maybe for a little while, like say a month or the rest of your life, try doing what you said you were going to do. See where that gets you.
Maybe make a few lists. What are the most doable things you can do right now that will have the most positive impact on the lives of you and those you care about?
Some of those will be projects to be completed on a timeline. And some will be recurring rituals or systems, as Scott Adams might put it, that lead to a greater purpose.
Now break these projects and or systems down into doable steps and put them in chronological order and or prioritize them. You’re still making lists, right?
Now, and this is kinda the main point. When you wake up (maybe a little earlier than you’re used to) do the shit that’s on your list.
Don’t do what you feel like doing. You feel different all the time. That’s why you never get anything done.
“This is boring.” “Oh! Hot clickbait chicks! I feel different. Guess it worked…” “Oh, a shiny object.” “Why am I sober again?” “Oh, a post about how to fix my life by not following my passion…..”
Hear that? Mindfulness people might call that voice your monkey brain. Your monkey is an asshole. That dude’s been fucking things up for years because you weren’t watching him, were you? Did you even know he was there? A lot of us don’t.
Fuck that guy! Well, for now anyway. He is useful for some stuff. Maybe schedule a play date with him every so often but stop letting the motherfucker run your show!
Ok, back to the lists… of lists, of lists, of lists…
Yeah, I forgot about that part. Lists can be a whole nuther monkey. Kinda gotta keep an eye on that guy too. Are you doing things? Or are you making lists about lists about doing things?
Now you can and should reassess your list on a regular basis but remember that telling yourself what to do and doing what yourself told you to do are two completely separate jobs.
Do schedule a recurring time (ritual? system?) to curate, cultivate, prioritize, manage your lists. Don’t sit around making lists all day. It’s just another distraction.
Oh, and do keep a running list, to be processed later at a prescheduled time, of things that pop into your head. Get them into a safe place and out of your way so you can keep doing what you said you were going to do. Call this your inbox. Call it whatever you want, really. But treat it like an inbox.
By the way, is any of this starting to sound familiar? If not you really oughta check out Getting Things Done by David Allen and or Zen to Done by Leo Babauta. I’m pretty much paraphrasing some of their key points here but when you start to see the value, those guys are going to help you do it a lot better.
So, to summarize;
- List the things you should be doing.
- Do what’s on your list. When you said you’d do it.
- Maybe read a few books. (But only when you say you will, once again)
- Maintain your system. And most importantly…
- STOP DOING WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE DOING!*
OK, we good here? Nice talk.
* At least until what you feel like doing is what you said you’d do. Or as Angela Duckworth and or Cal Newport* might put it, until your obligation becomes your passion. Stick to the list long enough and you may find that that becomes a thing.
* I read them both around the same time and think their works complement each other nicely. Maybe they should have book babies.
P.S. In restaurants we have this thing called sidework.
So there’s your job job, like waiting tables, bartending, screaming at waiters, etc. But then there are all these other sub jobs you do before, during and after service in support of your main job. You know, like rolling silverware, brewing coffee, stocking the bread station, getting yelled at by the dickhead sous chef (for whom the revenge is “well, at least I’m not stuck being that motherfucker for the rest of my life…”) Things like that.
One way or another there are usually lists of these jobs. So you don’t think about them, you just do them. They get done. They’re all one thing. Sidework.
It occurs to me that this post coulda been called Sidework. Or maybe that’s a different post. I’ll get back to you on that one.
Also, I’ve noticed over the years that some of the best restaurant sideworkers, where there are lists, are noticeably shitty sideworkers in their personal lives, where there ain’t none. Haven’t read him yet but I hear that our friend Atul Gawande has a lot to say about that.
Better Is A Verb 